# Joi Massat

> Writer, Editor, Artist, GameLit-ist


## Posts

- [Dark Secrets of That Disgusting Old Yu-Gi-Oh Card Art](https://jmassat.com/2026/04/05/dark-secrets-of-that-disgusting-old-yu-gi-oh-card-art/): If you don’t believe me about it being disgusting, just look at the banner. Or at this:
- [suzypavlis: A New Website for Conlang Nonsense](https://jmassat.com/2026/03/03/suzypavlis-a-new-website-for-conlang-nonsense/): To my mild embarrassment, I’ve tacked another hobby on to my list of hobbies: web design. Enter suzypavlis, which is currently a home for the lyrics of, like, six songs in artificial languages that vanishingly few people use.
- [Biased Yet Scientific List of the Greatest Anime Boys](https://jmassat.com/2026/01/10/biased-yet-scientific-list-of-the-greatest-anime-boys/): In the name of psychoanalyzing myself over and over again until I implode, I’ve recently examined the anime characters I find, or have found, most aesthetically appealing. These are not my favorite boys of 2026. They are my favorites as chosen by my younger selves throughout time and space. Also, because the anime I’ve watched lately have been in the single digits, my list stops short at, like, 2015. Let’s get scratchin’!
- [The Feminine, Masculine, And/Or Nonbinarinine Within?](https://jmassat.com/2025/12/06/the-feminine-masculine-and-or-nonbinarinine-within/): AKA My Good Friend Columbo From the Memes Helps Me Investigate Gender Roles
- [Colors Are So Delicious](https://jmassat.com/2025/11/02/colors-are-so-delicious/): All my other blog post WIPs require me to do more research (AKA more watching of shows) and I just haven’t circled back to that. Yet I wanted to post something, so here I am! I like colors, I think they are very pleasing, please enjoy a carousel of color-related topics.
- [Tales from the Ace Zone: Sex and Gender Musings](https://jmassat.com/2025/10/01/tales-from-the-ace-zone-sex-and-gender-musings/): Okay, get this: did you know that gender, sex, sexuality, romance, and aesthetic attraction…that they…that they might, might…they might…you know, they….they might be related??? I honestly didn’t because I thought I was too weird and too far beyond these things. It took some really roundabout reflection to reach these roundabout conclusions.
- [We Want Catgirl System and We Want It Now!](https://jmassat.com/2025/08/29/we-want-catgirl-system-and-we-want-it-now/): Seriously, how am I doing with this story?
- [Searching for Erotic Non-Erotica](https://jmassat.com/2025/08/14/searching-for-erotic-non-erotica/): In my mind, the typical exploration of sexual psychology in literary fiction is one of these: I’m so bored.
- [Prison School Said “No Sex Forever”](https://jmassat.com/2025/06/09/prison-school-said-no-sex-forever/): Sad but true: sometimes we can only embrace our LGBTQ+ identities through watching the straightest cis-est shit of all time.
- [Behind the Cast of Catgirl System](https://jmassat.com/2025/04/06/behind-the-cast-of-catgirl-system/): On a whim, I decided to write about characters from this story I’m making, what inspired them, and how I made certain story decisions with them. Let’s get rollin’!
- [Interview with David M. Donachie, Creator of Gamebooks and More](https://jmassat.com/2025/03/22/interview-with-david-m-donachie-creator-of-gamebooks-and-more/): This author, illustrator, game designer and lover of mice agreed to chat with me about living a creative life. Here are just a few of the things he’s had a hand in: a series of free Dragon Warriors modules with Red Ruin Publishing, a TTRPG where you pilot a spaceship made of dice, and the versatile GNAT System for gamebook adventures—which he used to write Heart of Keros, a free, excellent adventure and Merit Award winner from the 2023/2024 Lindenbaum Competition (which is where I first found his work).
- [I DO Have Irons in the Fire...u just cant see them yet >:( grrr](https://jmassat.com/2025/03/01/i-do-have-irons-in-the-fire-u-just-cant-see-them-yet-grrr/): I feel like I’m working on fifty creative things but forty-nine of the things aren’t out yet!
- [Every Super Sentai Theme Song, Ranked (Pt. 2)](https://jmassat.com/2025/02/03/every-super-sentai-theme-song-ranked-pt-2/): Welcome back! Here’s Part 1 if you missed it. Now get ready for some more squeezed GIFs and hopefully normal MP3s as we count it down from #17 to that coveted top spot!
- [Every Super Sentai Theme Song, Ranked (Pt. 1)](https://jmassat.com/2025/01/20/every-super-sentai-theme-song-ranked-pt-1/): Super Sentai. It’s the series Power Rangers is based on…but also so much more. I did not give a shit about it until about eight years ago when I watched every one of its theme songs in a row for some reason. It’s corny. It’s campy. It’s cool. It’s high-octane. And as of 2025, it spans fifty years. So let’s count it down, from my least favorite to most coveted—complete with MP3s and supercompressed GIFs to give YOU a taste of the action.
- [Logan's Run (1976): Classic or Corny?](https://jmassat.com/2025/01/06/logans-run-1976-classic-or-corny/): I have 70s disease. It compels me to seek out anything with wood paneling.
- [Let's Just Chat About Catgirl System](https://jmassat.com/2024/12/21/lets-just-chat-about-catgirl-system/): Time feels short and distractions seem many. Right now I don’t want to write much other than Catgirl System, and other projects (including my blog posts) threaten to screech to a halt. So…why not smash them together into an unholy conglomerate? Join me for a LitRPG chat around the fire.
- [Take a Break: Let Your Body Catch Up with Your Mind](https://jmassat.com/2024/11/29/take-a-break-let-your-body-catch-up-with-your-mind/): If there’s “no good reason” why you should feel burned out, yet you feel burned out, consider a rest. After that, your feelings might go, “Wait, it doesn’t seem hard anymore. …Huh.” It sounds fake when I put it that way, but it’s been true for me.
- [A Catgirl System Ultimatum](https://jmassat.com/2024/11/15/a-catgirl-system-ultimatum/): I will finish this story in Summer 2025.
- [Riffing on PBS Kids for No Reason](https://jmassat.com/2024/10/21/riffing-on-pbs-kids-for-no-reason/): These shows don’t deserve this. #ROASTED #EXPOSED #grounded
- [The Artist Who's Never Been Driven At All?](https://jmassat.com/2024/10/11/the-artist-whos-never-been-driven-at-all/): Some artists have a “creative mania.” They work day in and day out, like motors that feed on air. To outsiders, their path to artistry is simple—in the same sense as the simplest way to break into a bank is to pull out the battering ram. Just work tirelessly. Hammer it out. And it may even seem to happen spontaneously, involuntarily. For me, though, it would take not only passion to reach this state (and…drugs?), but a lot of stifling work.
- [Thriftin' for Gamebooks: 7 Good and Great Titles](https://jmassat.com/2024/09/18/thriftin-for-gamebooks-7-good-and-great-titles/): A gamebook: you can read it and play it. Whenever I go to a thrift store or find a Little Free Library, I am on the prowl for playful, gamey fiction. While I haven’t found much, I have uncovered some surprisingly nice titles.
- [Schedule Slip and Not-So-Daily Tasks](https://jmassat.com/2024/09/10/schedule-slip-and-not-so-daily-tasks/): Apparently when I give myself too many “every day” “every month” “every two weeks”-type tasks, I start to get overwhelmed. And rather than that overwhelmed-ness stoking a fire in me, it can kind of lead to…apathy. It feels like the task itself is easy, but the run-up to actually beginning the task is difficult. No, the run-up isn’t even difficult for me right now. It’s the consistency part.
- [Life Keeps Moving](https://jmassat.com/2024/08/24/life-keeps-moving/): I haven’t been making much time to write lately. Some of it is familial obligations; some of it is me deliberately pushing it aside.
- [5 Things I Learned from Cartoon Pitch Bibles](https://jmassat.com/2024/08/10/5-things-i-learned-from-cartoon-pitch-bibles/): Lately I’ve been interested in the “foundational texts” of cartoons, so much so that I’ve compiled a list of just about every one I could find online. In reading a bunch, I’ve learned some fascinating things about them—and about creative work in general. Like…
- [Every Cartoon Pitch and Writer's Bible on Archive.org](https://jmassat.com/2024/08/05/every-cartoon-pitch-and-writers-bible-on-archive-org/): Here’s a collection of every document I could find on the website that I am reasonably sure was actually used to pitch, or write episodes for, a network-produced animated series. Also included are a growing number of media kits. If you find another document, comment below! Oh, and I encourage you to download any documents you really don’t want to lose track of. It’s quick, free, and easy! Things have been taken down from Archive.org before—including pitches.
- [Your Audience Wants to Like You](https://jmassat.com/2024/07/28/your-audience-wants-to-like-you/): You are an artist. You are afraid of heckling on the internet. But if you’re gonna overcome the block and put anything out there, you either have to throw all caution to the wind or hold strong in the conviction that your audience wants to like you.
- [5 Things I Regret About "The Demon Lord is Apathetic"](https://jmassat.com/2024/07/12/5-things-i-regret-about-the-demon-lord-is-apathetic/): In honor of me finally troubleshooting all the problems out of this paperback edition of The Demon Lord is Apathetic, I have made this post…criticizing it? Look, I did put a lot of work into this story and I do think it’s enjoyable enough to warrant a spot on the shelf. But I did make some poor decisions with it. So let’s take a look and move from small-scale stuff that possibly nobody but me noticed to the big picture. You don’t need to have read the story to read this post. Extremely minor spoilers ahead!
- [Don't Keep Going for the Easy Win](https://jmassat.com/2024/06/28/dont-keep-going-for-the-easy-win/): Lately I’ve fallen into the trap of sacrificing harder creative work for tedious-but-predictable busywork. How to crawl out of the trap?
- [New Ebook Live (and FREE, for a limited time): The Demon Lord is Apathetic](https://jmassat.com/2024/06/17/new-ebook-live-and-free-for-a-limited-time-the-demon-lord-is-apathetic/): All members of my Patreon (INCLUDING the free members who are basically just using it like a monthly newsletter) can download the EPUB and PDF of this illustrated action-comedy from now until June 23rd. (Offer now expired, but here’s the page for history’s sake. The ebook, and soon the paperback, can be found for sale here.) And/or read on. This is a quick little post about a not-so-quick, not-that-little story. Seriously, this PDF is 780 pages and everything had to be finely massaged to fit Amazon’s paperback printing regulations. (It’s still too long for hardback. Needs more massaging. Maybe someday.)
- [The Downward Spiral of Self-Deprecation](https://jmassat.com/2024/06/10/the-downward-spiral-of-self-deprecation/): So I’m going through life, and something innocuous hits me wrong. I don’t feel like being specific, so…let’s pretend it’s an umbrella. Sure. Maybe umbrellas have never bothered me a single moment in my life, until now, this day, when my subconscious mind makes a connection between umbrellas and my deepest fears. A truly unhelpful one. I spot an umbrella on the ground and for some reason, just seeing it sends a pang through my nerves. A Downward Spiral of Self-Deprecation begins:
- [Do I Even Have Time for All My Hobbies?](https://jmassat.com/2024/05/22/do-i-even-have-time-for-all-my-hobbies/): What happened to all that random fun crap I used to do?! I guess I just got older and busier. Boo-hoo, that’s what happens to pretty much everyone. And yet I’m gonna talk more about it, and how I subconsciously vetted my hobbies to make the most of them.
- [The 5 Secret Rules of Catgirl System](https://jmassat.com/2024/05/07/the-5-secret-rules-of-catgirl-system/): It’s an old rusty crusty maxim by this point that limitation breeds creativity. Well, with Catgirl System, I started out knowing many things I wanted to include, but many many more things I didn’t. I gave myself limitations—on what characters could say, where they could go, and even the thinks I allowed them to think. Some of them will make immediate sense to you while others seem a little more arbitrary. There are reasons behind them all. So these are the five heretofore-unwritten laws of the Catgirl universe…!
- [The RoyalRoad Blue Box Metagame](https://jmassat.com/2024/04/22/the-royalroad-blue-box-metagame/): (this is 75% shitpost)
- [Intros in LitRPGs...and Beyond](https://jmassat.com/2024/04/10/intros-in-litrpgs-and-beyond/): There’s something unique and oddly compelling about the first several chapters of your typical LitRPG. Unique, compelling, and…isolated.
- [Thicken That Skin!](https://jmassat.com/2024/03/29/thicken-that-skin/): They say we feel negative emotions more strongly than positive ones. Maybe that explains why when I receive anything vaguely resembling negative criticism on my written work, I get unreasonably nervous.
- [Catgirl System is Now Live...!! (Plus a Brief Writing Update)](https://jmassat.com/2024/03/11/catgirl-system-is-now-live-plus-a-brief-writing-update/): That’s right. I’ve started posting it online and slathering additional secret chapters on Patreon. Now that the advertising is out of the way, I can move on to…reflection!
- [Dancercise! ...For Those With No Moves](https://jmassat.com/2024/03/07/dancercise-for-those-with-no-moves/): The only way I can motivate myself to exercise until I sweat—and I mean real, droplets-flinging-into-my-eyes-like-I-just-got-out-the-shower sweat—is by dancing with wild abandon. And yet I have no rhythm. That’s why I keep the windows closed. Wait…my blinds collapsed a month ago. Never mind that part.
- [Productivity Talk: My Inner Ned, My Inner Homer](https://jmassat.com/2024/02/28/productivity-talk-my-inner-ned-my-inner-homer/): When I have a really successful week followed by a slack one, it’s like New Me seeing Old, More Successful Me across the backyard fence. New Me struggles to assemble a pool while Old Me happily trims the bushes. “Hidely-ho, neighborino!” says Old Me. “RRRAAAAAUGH!” screams New Me as the pool explodes.
- [Blue Box Madness (or: The Dark Side of Writing LitRPGs)](https://jmassat.com/2024/02/13/blue-box-madness-or-the-dark-side-of-writing-litrpgs/): I thought the world of tables would be simple, straightforward. Instead, it is unfolding into a nightmare, corrupting me.
- [The Creative Thrill is Gone?](https://jmassat.com/2024/01/29/the-creative-thrill-is-gone/): I declare that my creative zest is at an all-time low.
- [Can't Make Kid's Programs Like This Anymore (...And Probably Shouldn't!)](https://jmassat.com/2024/01/21/cant-make-kids-programs-like-this-anymore-and-probably-shouldnt/): Quick: name something you can’t put on your TV network for six-year-olds in the United States. “Guns and excessive violence?” That’s old news. “Racism?” Uh, we hope that’s old news. Here are two categories I propose: “things that are nightmarish” and “things that are really gross.” Let that sink in. Two categories that dominated children’s TV in the 90s and left a long shadow seem to be fading away. (Also, if you are a kid, please don’t read this, or my PG-13 blog in general.)
- [Writers, Here's Why It's Impossible to Rip Yourself Off](https://jmassat.com/2024/01/14/writers-why-its-impossible-to-rip-yourself-off/): Recently I realized that I like to repeat not just character types, but character ensembles. And my lack of creativity scared me.
- [The 5 Most Futuristic Covers Of All Space-Time](https://jmassat.com/2024/01/09/the-5-most-futuristic-covers-of-all-space-time/): Some albums, books, or other cultural artifacts look very “of their time.” Others—at least in retrospect—look like downright time-travelers. And a recent impulse buy has graced me with the most bizarrely timeless cover art I’ve ever seen.
- ['Tis the Season to Relax-y](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/31/tis-the-season-to-relax-y/): I wiped out hard this holiday season.
- [The Polar Express (2004): Best Christmas Action Since Die Hard?](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/25/the-polar-express-2004-best-christmas-action-since-die-hard/): Part 5 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza Almost ChristmasDolly Parton’s Christmas on the SquareIt’s a Wonderful LifeThe Life and Adventures of Santa ClausThe Polar Express Wikipedia states that the book this movie adapts “was praised for its…calm, relaxing storyline.” I have no clue what happened to that.
- [The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (1985): The OTHER Santa Origin Story](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/23/the-life-and-adventures-of-santa-claus-1985-the-other-santa-origin-story/): Part 4 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza Almost ChristmasDolly Parton’s Christmas on the SquareIt’s a Wonderful LifeThe Life and Adventures of Santa ClausThe Polar Express “There is no religion. Friars are bad. The Buddha is bad. There are no gods, there is no cycle of rebirth. The only church is the Church of Santa Claus.” So sayeth the Rankin/Bass Santa origin myth we didn’t exactly need.
- [It's a Wonderful Life (1946): Still Refreshing After 75 Years](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/22/its-a-wonderful-life-1946-still-refreshing-after-75-years/): Part 3 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza Almost ChristmasDolly Parton’s Christmas on the SquareIt’s a Wonderful LifeThe Life and Adventures of Santa ClausThe Polar Express I promised myself that this year, I wouldn’t just watch whatever Christmas special I happened to spot first on a library shelf or on the airwaves. I’d also set out to watch at least one film regarded as a classic. And I wasn’t disappointed.
- [Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square (2020) Haunts My Dreams](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/19/dolly-partons-christmas-on-the-square-2020-haunts-my-dreams/): Part 2 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza Almost ChristmasDolly Parton’s Christmas on the SquareIt’s a Wonderful LifeThe Life and Adventures of Santa ClausThe Polar Express In this film, Dolly Parton fertilizes a woman by pointing at her skirt and making it glow.
- [Almost Christmas (2016) Is Weirder Than You Think](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/17/almost-christmas-2016-is-weirder-than-you-think/): Part 1 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza Almost ChristmasDolly Parton’s Christmas on the SquareIt’s a Wonderful LifeThe Life and Adventures of Santa ClausThe Polar Express This holiday season is starting off with a sweet-potato-flavored bang.
- [End the Slog: How to Write, Finish, and Have Fun Doing It](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/03/end-the-slog-how-to-write-finish-and-have-fun-doing-it/): So you’ve written 500 pages of your novel. Problem: you need a hundred more before you finish. And it’s really wearing on you.
- [NEWSBLAST: December 2023](https://jmassat.com/2023/12/01/newsblast-december-2023/): This is a free sample of the update posts I’ll now be uploading to my Patreon monthly. Check it out!!
- [Running Around in Video Game Levels You've Completed Already For No Apparent Reason (and Then Also Looking at Maps)](https://jmassat.com/2023/11/19/running-around-in-video-game-levels-youve-completed-already-for-no-apparent-reason-and-then-also-looking-at-maps/): It’s a time-honored tradition.
- [How to Write After You Break the Streak](https://jmassat.com/2023/11/08/how-to-write-after-you-break-the-streak/): I told the world I would write every day. Then I stopped for a week. And now writing is scary again.
- [Going Back to Gen 1 Pokemon Warped My Brain](https://jmassat.com/2023/10/26/going-back-to-gen-1-pokemon-warped-my-brain/): This is what real strategy looks like: skewed and archaic.
- [A Talking Cat!?! Finally, A LitRPG Heroine We Can Believe In](https://jmassat.com/2023/10/22/a-talking-cat-finally-a-litrpg-heroine-we-can-believe-in-catgirl-system/): Meet Taipha, the star of my LitRPG series in progress. She’s a cat. She’s a girl. Will she rule the world??? Read on to learn more about her…and her world!
- [What Is a LitRPG? A Simple Guide for the Deeply Confused](https://jmassat.com/2023/10/20/what-is-a-litrpg-a-simple-guide-for-the-deeply-confused/): LitRPGs are like books plus video games. And while most websites defining them will assume you already know a lot about video games, I’ll pretend you’re my mom, who hates them and has no idea what kinds of books I’ve been editing for the past several months. This explanation will be slow and methodical.
- [Writing a Small-Scope LitRPG?](https://jmassat.com/2023/10/07/writing-a-small-scope-litrpg/): I’m striving to create a world that’s small but rich with hidden secrets. We don’t always have to save the world!
- [Oops! My "Quick Side Project" is Consuming Untold Years](https://jmassat.com/2023/09/24/oops-my-quick-side-project-is-consuming-untold-years/): How’d I get here, and what can you do if you’re in my shoes?
- [Fluke (1995): More Like This Movie Was A Fluke](https://jmassat.com/2023/03/15/fluke-1995-more-like-this-movie-was-a-fluke/): Ah, Fluke. Yet another bizarre, oddly compelling movie that has no right to be oddly compelling. Or bizarre, really. I mean, it’s a dog movie. All it had to be was a dog movie.
- [Platinum the Trinity Looks So Cool (And I Hate It)](https://jmassat.com/2022/09/11/i-hate-that-i-love-blazblues-platinum-the-trinity/): BlazBlue sucks, last time I checked, but in my teenagerdom BlazBlue and its characters were just iconic.
- [Who Was Ms. Wood? (or: Why Am I So Tactless?)](https://jmassat.com/2022/08/19/who-was-ms-wood-or-why-am-i-so-tactless/): I enthusiastically told my fifth-grade teacher that my fourth-grade teacher was my favorite.
- [Hide No More: The Masquerade Trope in Fantasy Fiction (And How Elatsoe Kills It)](https://jmassat.com/2022/08/10/hide-no-more-the-cover-up-trope-in-fantasy-fiction-and-how-elatsoe-kills-it/): When people recommended the young adult novel Elatsoe to me, it was never as a quirky take on a fantasy world. That’s what it is, though: a modern America with spirit summoners, vicious vampires, and fairy children as its typical citizens. Magic is a known factor that makes travel convenient, complicates crime scenes, causes fantastical global warming. Rather, the book was introduced to me as a story about grief, healing, and ghosts that features a Native lead. This is also a true statement about what Elatsoe is. What interests me about the discrepancy is how people don’t see a need […]
- [StopTank and Writing For the Heck of It](https://jmassat.com/2022/07/31/stoptank-and-writing-for-the-heck-of-it/): Sometimes you just gotta write a thing without knowing whether you’ll ever put it somewhere.
- [Karakuridōji Ultimo Review: Too Much Promise](https://jmassat.com/2022/07/01/karakuridoji-ultimo-too-much-promise/): Why does nobody talk about this ambitious, high-octane, bizarrely stylish manga? When I was in high school, seinen and shōnen manga (especially edgy ones) were my favorite things. Hunter x Hunter, Parasyte, Attack on Titan, Death Note—all series I devoured. But what manga felt like full-on events? I can only think of two: Akira and Ultimo. Akira has such an impressive pedigree (and such a huge print size) that buying it can’t not feel like an event. But all Ultimo had was suspense and promise. It also had Hiroyuki Takei and Stan Lee, but trust me, I didn’t care about […]
- [Pretty Strong: Ultimo, Manga Heroes, and Gender Roles in the Early 2010s](https://jmassat.com/2022/06/23/pretty-strong-ultimo-shonen-heroes-and-gender-roles-in-the-early-2010s/): Recently I finished Ultimo, a manga which history will remember only as a footnote in Hiroyuki Takei’s career that weirdly has Stan Lee’s name on it. While I didn’t finish it back in the day (when, after many delays, it petered out into a ‘meh’ conclusion), I was always captivated by its high ambition, its sleek art style, and its sheer charm. Take Ultimo himself: his design strikes me as effortlessly cute, cool, and beautiful at the same time. Cuteness and coolness. Beauty and strength. Today I notice that for Ultimo’s character, these are not contradictions. If anything, his beauty […]
- [Top 5 Most Epic Blondie Movie Endings (Without Context)](https://jmassat.com/2022/06/10/top-5-most-epic-blondie-movie-endings-presented-without-context/): Are you a Blondie superfan? Neither am I. Thanks to my funnypaper-reading daddie and my movie buff mommie, though, I’ve absorbed Blondie knowledge all my life against my will. Here are my picks for the top 5 most entertaining Blondie movies, ranked purely by their last 5-50 seconds of runtime.
- [First Impressions: Four Against Darkness (A Solo RPG)](https://jmassat.com/2022/03/25/a-newbie-tries-four-against-darkness/): Includes narrative-style actual play!
- [How to Draw Comics (When You Can’t Draw)](https://jmassat.com/2022/02/17/how-to-draw-comics-when-you-cant-draw/): “I’d love to make a comic. If only I could draw…” Stop right there, buster. Anyone can draw. Not everyone can make a still life—not everyone can hold a pencil with perfect poise—but everyone can get marks on the paper.
- [Agender: Another ?Trans? Narrative](https://jmassat.com/2021/10/12/another-trans-narrative/): I had no thought of writing this until my friend Thedude3445 wrote a great coming-out post and made the point that personal stories all along the gender spectrum need to be shared. But I’m not writing this post hoping to twitch the needle in any big way. I just hope it can be one interesting action, perhaps valuable in its small way, in a sea of actions, in a general movement.
- [It's Time to Admit You Love 4Kids Theme Songs](https://jmassat.com/2021/07/23/its-time-to-admit-you-love-4kids-theme-songs/): 4Kids TV gets such a bad rep. Let’s fix that.
- [The Cowboy Way: The Shit You Find on Cable](https://jmassat.com/2021/07/13/the-cowboy-way-the-shit-you-find-on-cable/): In my opinion, the ideal way to show this film is in the background.
- [StarCrash Takes Off!! (with Jeff)](https://jmassat.com/2021/05/01/starcrash-takes-off-with-jeff/): The fourth part of this action-adventure-comedy-sci-fi webcomic I’ve been making for a while debuts today! That’s what I mean by “takes off.”
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Pt. 2/2)](https://jmassat.com/2021/04/23/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-pt-2-2/): Pt. 7.5 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) Thank you for tuning in once more to read my words galore. I have a little something-something to show you before I go on. Something I missed.
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Pt. 1/2)](https://jmassat.com/2021/04/21/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-pt-1-2/): Pt. 7 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) When I opened this book, I had a strong feeling that I’d already seen the best this series has to offer. But I was wrong, because this book contains what I believe to be the best joke in the entire series. This book is the first (and therefore only) one in the series where the characters are allowed to curse. The character who throws the […]
- [Spaceballs and My Life with Parody Film](https://jmassat.com/2020/05/30/its-not-you-its-me-spaceballs-and-my-life-with-parody-film/): My first exposure to Spaceballs was as a kid of around six years old sitting on the family room floor. It was on that floor that I also watched my father watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the Star Trek episode about tribbles, about how troublesome they were. On a similar floor in later years, I would come to watch my father watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Kung Pow, and a “Weird Al” Yankovic anthology. Spoofy things. Sci-fi things. In-joke things. I say “I watched my father watch” deliberately, because I had no interest in these things.
- [Harry Potter International Book Covers: Part 2 (or: Harry Potter and the Seventy Fifty Billion Trillion MORE Book Covers)](https://jmassat.com/2019/12/15/harry-potter-and-the-seventy-fifty-billion-trillion-more-book-covers/): Pt. 6.75 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) All these book covers were supposed to be a single post, but there’s just…so…..so durned many. If you missed our first batch of covers from around the world, go here first. Well, here we go!
- [Harry Potter International Book Covers (or: Harry Potter and the Kajillion Book Covers)](https://jmassat.com/2019/12/15/harry-potter-and-the-kajillion-book-covers/): Pt. 6.5 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) Not too long ago, I ranked Harry Potter Collector’s Edition covers from across time and space. There are some amazing, sumptuous covers for these books. And some bland ones, but that’s okay.
- [Thursday's Dragon: A Tale of Procrastination](https://jmassat.com/2019/11/21/thursdays-dragon-a-tale-of-procrastination/): I didn’t want to grade papers, so I made a game for myself. I know, I’m the teacher, the role model, the honorary adult as it were, but, to be fair, this is my first time playing this sort of make-believe.  So I wasn’t always this immature.
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince](https://jmassat.com/2019/10/07/harry-potter-and-the-half-blood-prince/): Pt. 6 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) “That old man’s still not dead?” Just one of my reactions to this epic tome.
- [Retrospective: Fifty Years of Scooby-Doo!](https://jmassat.com/2019/09/13/the-fifty-years-of-scooby-doo/): I can’t believe the fiftieth anniversary of Scooby-Doo just crept up on me, despite me having written about The Fifty Names of Scooby-Doo. Ruh-roh.
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix](https://jmassat.com/2019/08/04/harry-potter-and-the-order-of-the-phoenix/): Pt. 5 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) It turns out that the first major consequence of Lord Voldemort’s return to power is the institution of the No Wizard Left Behind program.
- [Harry Potter Special Edition Covers, Ranked](https://jmassat.com/2019/07/19/harry-potter-covers-special-edition-showdown/): Pt. 4.5 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) I’m still finishing Order of the Phoenix (it’s way too long). In the meantime, maybe this’ll wet your whistle. It’s Harry time.
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire](https://jmassat.com/2019/06/15/harry-potter-and-the-goblet-of-fire/): Pt. 4 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) If Prisoner of Azkaban was “darkness to light,” then Goblet is a search for balance.
- [First Impressions: Pyrebound (A Web Novel)](https://jmassat.com/2019/05/17/pyrebound-an-early-look/): Since time before record, the worlds of Ki and Kur have been entangled. Every fourth day, the boundaries of space and time are disturbed, so that each world is seemingly transposed with the other, and an alien sun rises in its sky, with catastrophic results. The light of Kur’s star is deadly to the life of Ki, and vice versa; every contact between the creatures of the two worlds likewise produces only violence, corruption, and decay. Yet contact is frequent enough, on the fourth day when the barriers put up by nature are thin and porous. Over many years each […]
- [From "Virtual War" by Gloria Skurzynski](https://jmassat.com/2019/05/08/from-virtual-war-by-gloria-skurzynski/): “Now, Corgan, how did you get that broken skin on your hand?” “Dammit, Mendor, I told you I don’t know.” Mendor’s gasp was like a gale blowing through the Box. “Where did you learn that word, Corgan?” “What word?” But he knew exactly the word Mendor meant.
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban](https://jmassat.com/2019/05/04/harry-potter-and-the-prisoner-of-azkaban/): Pt. 3 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) What a lumpy book.
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets](https://jmassat.com/2019/04/23/harry-potter-and-the-chamber-of-secrets/): Pt. 2 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) I was wrong. This isn’t Matilda: The Fantasy YA Series. It’s Rugrats: The Fantasy YA Series. Think about it.
- [Review: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (...or Sorceror's)](https://jmassat.com/2019/04/19/harry-potter-and-the-philosophercerors-stone/): Pt. 1 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Intro (Pt. 0)Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) Disclaimer: I don’t like J. K. Rowling, nor do I endorse her. I’m analyzing, critiquing, and mocking a book series which remains relevant because it’s been a pop cultural tour de force as long as I’ve been alive. Never again will I wonder what Matilda would be like as the first book of a seven-part series. It is here before me: Harry Potter and the […]
- [Growing Up with Harry Potter (Without Reading It)](https://jmassat.com/2019/04/16/harry-potter-readstravaganza-part-0-memories-book-covers-other-stuff/): Pt. 0 of The Harry Potter Readstravaganza Reviews:Book 1  ·  2  ·  3  ·  4  ·  5  ·  6  ·  7 (pt. 1 + 2)Book Covers:Special Editions  ·  International (pt. 1 + 2) Harry Potter is just another series on my neverending list of stuff to read. I’ve never read it before, which is surprising because I grew up with the books, and fans of the books, and movies based on the books, and birthday parties inspired by the books, all around me. I claimed to like reading, too.
- [From "Out of the Silent Planet" by C. S. Lewis](https://jmassat.com/2019/04/12/from-out-of-the-silent-planet-by-c-s-lewis/): A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered. You are speaking, Hmán, as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another. It is all one thing. The séroni could say it better than I say it now. Not better than I could say it in a poem. What you call remembering is the last part of the pleasure, as the crah is the last part of a poem. When you and I met, the meeting was over very shortly, it was nothing. Now it is growing something as we remember it. But still we know very little […]
- [She’s a Slob: Funnywomen and My Very Limited Experience with Gross-Out Comedy](https://jmassat.com/2019/04/12/shes-a-slob-funnywomen-and-my-very-limited-experience-with-gross-out-comedy/): Maybe I should watch a Melissa McCarthy movie soon, eh?
- [What I Mean When I Say "Pretentious"](https://jmassat.com/2019/04/06/what-i-mean-when-i-say-pretentious/): I mean that I need a better word.
- [Welcome!](https://jmassat.com/2019/04/04/welcome/): It is here. At long last, the world knows where to find the online “headquarters” of Joi Massat. We welcome this day with loving arms. How many people will read this? Not this blog, but like, this post. Five people? Six? Anyway, thank you for visiting. Dedicated Quinlan Circle fans may know me as an artist for ATL: Stories from the Retrofuture, but profound Quinlan Circle fans know that I’m a writer above all, for they know I have created The Fifty Names of Scooby-Doo. What a seminal work that one is. Someday soon I’ll put out fiction that isn’t […]

## Pages

- [Blog Series](https://jmassat.com/series/): Books Gamebooks and Solo RPG Adventures Stuff I Learned Writing Catgirl System, A Fluffy LitRPG More About Writing…and Honestly Also Just Making Art The Harry Potter Readstravaganza(it’s critical, I swear) (J. K. Rowling stinks) Movies and TV Resources Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza Other Televised Nonsense Non-TV, Non-Book Things Liked by Uncles Born Between 1990 and 2000 Gender, Sex, Whatever Basically Everything Else
- [About](https://jmassat.com/about/): I’m a state-of-Georgian and a lifelong lover of books, comics, and games. I graduated from the University of Arizona’s Creative Writing MFA program because I never wanted to study anything else. My favorite field is prose, my favorite topics the weird, adventurous, ambiguous, alienating. And comedy. If you’re looking for publications, check out my works. To get in touch, email me at jmassat@email.arizona.edu.
- [Works](https://jmassat.com/works/): Novels and Web Serials ‧ Comics and Zines ‧ Games and Gamebooks Books I’ve Edited (samples available upon request!) Other Writing ‧ Visual Art Novels and Web Serials Catgirl System “Taipha, once an alley cat on Earth, is reborn into a fantastical forest with new powers that amaze and terrify her. She can level up, transform into a cat-human hybrid, and her hunts are routinely interrupted by flying boxes. Catgirl System is a playful, breezy LitRPG…updating as we speak!” Invisible Werewolf Draculameets Vampire Mummy Frankenstein “Globetrotting outlaw Dracula finds a powerful ally in an Egyptian crypt—Frankenstein’s monster himself. Can these […]


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