I want to do MANY THINGS. Probably TOO MANY THINGS. It simultaneously holds me back and is the secret of my power.
It holds me back because when important things and long-term projects stop feeling effortlessly easy, or when a different challenge feels more fun, or when my confidence slips by even 1%, I run away. At that point, it takes a force of will to get myself back on track.
At the same time, I feel I can’t fully abandon the Water Hose of Random Creative Energy, simply because they make my life feel more delightful. I may feel bad and guilty that I led myself away from the big projects I’d committed myself to, and yet I never feel bad that I planned or even finished the thing I let lure me away…simply because those things were fun and rewarding.
But still. I’ve gotta have more discipline. I know I do!
It makes me a little sad to know I’ve had wisps of ideas on what feels like a perpetual backburner. Of course, the biggest reason for that backburner is…because I haven’t finished the big project I keep talking about!
And the three big reasons I haven’t finished that big project are:
- Other shiny new projects.
- Lack of confidence in my ability to wrap things up in a climactic and fulfilling manner.
- Lack of willpower to sit down and problem-solve the climax, due to my lack of confidence.
Last month, I returned to daily work on editing my novel. I made great progress! Then I moved. I let moving be an excuse to pulverize my writing schedule. Then I let other things become excuses.
It’s not always true for everyone, but very often true for me that tasks will fill up the space I let them fill up. What feels like four hours of work on Other Important Stuff might really be three hours of work and one hour of me staring despondently out a window.
So when I decided to devote forty-five regular minutes to working on a story I really do enjoy and want to finish, I found that I had time to work on that and more.
I’m not the type who like to cram in writing marathons to finish projects. You might prefer buckling down and saying something like, “Alright, tonight I edit five chapters and I don’t get up until I’m done.” I’m not that hardcore!
But I want to quit saying “I’m making progress” and start saying “here’s a chapter” already! To that end, it’s time to rev up the 45-minute timeslot aagin.
Thank you for reading, and Patrons, thank you for Patreonning.
I have a whole blog post category of writing stuff I learned while writing a wacky cat-related LitRPG. If you’re in the mood for more variety, what about an interview with a prolific gamebook author or a post about, um, colors?