Can’t Make Kid’s Programs Like This Anymore (…And Probably Shouldn’t!)

Quick: name something you can’t put on your TV network for six-year-olds in the United States. “Guns and excessive violence?” That’s old news. “Racism?” Uh, we hope that’s old news. Here are two categories I propose: “things that are nightmarish” and “things that are really gross.”

Let that sink in. Two categories that dominated children’s TV in the 90s and left a long shadow seem to be fading away.

(Also, if you are a kid, please don’t read this, or my PG-13 blog in general.)

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The 5 Most Futuristic Covers Of All Space-Time

Some albums, books, or other cultural artifacts look very “of their time.” Others—at least in retrospect—look like downright time-travelers.

And a recent impulse buy has graced me with the most bizarrely timeless cover art I’ve ever seen.

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The Polar Express (2004): Best Christmas Action Since Die Hard?

Part 5 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza

Almost Christmas
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square
It’s a Wonderful Life

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
The Polar Express

Wikipedia states that the book this movie adapts “was praised for its…calm, relaxing storyline.”

I have no clue what happened to that.

Continue reading “The Polar Express (2004): Best Christmas Action Since Die Hard?”

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (1985): The OTHER Santa Origin Story

Part 4 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza

Almost Christmas
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square
It’s a Wonderful Life

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
The Polar Express

“There is no religion. Friars are bad. Buddha is bad. There are no gods, there is no cycle of rebirth. The only church is the Church of Santa Claus.” So sayeth the Rankin/Bass Santa origin myth we didn’t exactly need.

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It’s a Wonderful Life (1946): Still Refreshing After 75 Years

Part 3 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza

Almost Christmas
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square
It’s a Wonderful Life

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
The Polar Express

I promised myself that this year, I wouldn’t just watch whatever Christmas special I happened to spot first on a library shelf or on the airwaves. I’d also set out to watch at least one film regarded as a classic. And I wasn’t disappointed.

Continue reading “It’s a Wonderful Life (1946): Still Refreshing After 75 Years”

Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020) Haunts My Dreams

Part 2 of the Christmas Movie Watchstravaganza

Almost Christmas
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square
It’s a Wonderful Life

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
The Polar Express

In this film, Dolly Parton fertilizes a woman by pointing at her skirt and making it glow.

Continue reading “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020) Haunts My Dreams”